Goat Simulator 3 test – it has four legs, a table, but not a chair

Being a goat is an even better experience without crashing through walls and crashes, but Goat Simulator 3, like its predecessor, needs to be handled in its place.

It’s quite impressive how successful Goat Simulator, released in 2014, was, despite the fact that it was almost unplayable at times, it regularly crashed even after many updates, and even if you managed to use something in it as intended, even then it was just a simple, strange we could spend time completing tasks that did not require effort. According to the official explanation, some of the bugs were left on purpose to make it funnier, but probably no one would have immediately deleted the game if an hour had passed without it getting stuck on the wall somewhere.

Coffee Stain Studios kept alive and expanded its game, which started as an April Fool’s joke, for a long time, but now the time has come to make a full-fledged sequel, which is much more similar to a real game than a home-made game thrown together in five minutes, which can only be evaluated with goodwill for a task. The fact that they skipped over the number 2 and immediately put the number 3 at the end of the title tells you what kind of experience you can expect.

Lick me another time

Goat Simulator 3 is essentially based on cheap jokes and winks, it’s as if Reddit, 9gag, and a sigh of TikTok were thrown into a big machine, and this game came out in the end. It starts with us sitting on a cart and a farmer greets us after waking up, then, if the reference wasn’t clear, he also mentions Skyrim. After arriving, we can go wherever we see, destroy as we please, but this would quickly tire us out, instead, there would be a lot of completely independent tasks that the developers wrote indiscriminately on a whiteboard in an average morning meeting, and then carried out while silently giggling.

Walking through the large playing field, you can stumble upon all kinds of missions, marked on the map for the sake of simplicity: once you have to pay your respects at marked graves in a cemetery, other times you can kick hippies off trees, assemble furniture, or generate a tornado by spinning up ballet dancers. There are a lot of open and less clear references, we collect costumes and accessories one after another (we can transform into a fish, a pig, a scarecrow, just to name a few), which not only make our animal prettier, but sometimes also endow it with unique abilities.

If you don’t consume it in small portions, the many silly jokes can be tiring, but the game is perfect for, if you have ten minutes, to do this and that at the pace that is convenient for you. There were only a few tasks where I didn’t fully understand what I was supposed to do, but for some of them it turned out (after I turned to YouTube, preventing my eye sockets from digging out) that it wasn’t me who was stupid, but the game didn’t want to work as intended.

The smaller tasks known from the previous game, so-called “instincts”, are back, with which we can earn points that can be redeemed for clothes and other stuff. We get a reward if we jump ten times on a trampoline, do a 720 double somersault, change police clothes with the clothes cannon, etc. These often don’t even take as much time to complete as the previously mentioned missions, and at least there are quite a few of them.

It will be enjoyed the most by those who properly immerse themselves in it and start searching for hidden things. In a basement, for example, we can find a tribute to Wolfenstein 3D, in a sandcastle, and in a corner of de_dust2 known from Counter-Strike, where sandmen flock to us. They didn’t put a lot of effort into developing Easter eggs, but their mere existence is fun.

By completing the tasks, we can always improve our castle, and then we can open the giant gate, behind which a completely bizarre boss fight awaits us, but at the same time, this is only enough to give some framework to the whole adventure. At the same time, we didn’t expect more from this kind of game.


I have a goat at home

Otherwise, we do what we like: we can kiss people, tease people with our tongues, drive selected vehicles, play tricks, decapitate whoever we think is worthy, push the boundaries – and we can do this with up to four players in the online and split-screen multiplayer mode, for which there is also an exclusive , also include mini-games designed specifically for competition.

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In roughly six to eight hours, we can see everything there is to see, we can do everything worth doing, but that’s enough – the price is set so that we don’t expect more from it. There are bugs, I fell through a wall several times, and sometimes I got stuck somewhere, but this happened less often than in the first Goat Simulator. It doesn’t offer a huge challenge, it happened once or twice that I had to search for something for longer than was comfortable, mostly I just grinded through the things to do – even ticking off my to-do list gives me satisfaction, I’m absolutely fine with these kinds of games. Those who feel the same way will also find this entertaining.

Goat Simulator 3 is a simple game, but its simplicity makes it fun. There will be those who will be disappointed in it, and there will be those who will spend much more time on it than is justified. Some technical errors still need to be fixed, but overall it works and serves its purpose.

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The article is in Hungarian

Tags: Goat Simulator test legs table chair

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