Bori Gyore: Dawn | Club radio

Bori Györe, who works as a self-knowledge coach and is also known as a translator of children’s books, published his first book, Engedély memg, seven years ago. The acquisition of the special license can also be applied to the author’s independent literary work, as his father is the poet and writer Balázs Györe, whose masterful non-fictional texts we have already covered in our cultural fact-finding and informational program Tükörfordítás, and whose text can be heard here on Klubrádió’s website. however, his excellence as an author did not mean an easy childhood for his daughter.

Then, a year and a half after his first independent volume, Bori Györe was also a guest in our musical literary program Belső közlés, where Éva Marton talked to him and read aloud in the program. In the text, a saleswoman begins to feel an increasingly irresistible sexual attraction towards her boss of the same sex, with whom she is only connected by a disciplinary relationship at work. Starting today, you can listen to the author’s presentation here on Klubrádió’s website by clicking the play button on the audio track above, and you can also read it in its original text version below.

Come Bori

(Facebook)

The original, written version of the novel excerpt:

dawn

A few days ago, a strange rash appeared on my body. Since I’m alone in the evenings, I have nothing better to do than look at them in the mirror. To be completely honest, I’m not only alone in the evenings.

I used to think about what Hajnal’s skin might be like under the dress. Ever since the red, rough-surfaced spots appeared on my breasts, under my breasts, and on my stomach, I’ve been wondering if Hajnal has some kind of sign on her body that suggests, from which we can draw no other conclusion than that we are related in some way. At least our bodies. I can’t take it much longer.

I don’t understand it all, his face has a waxy effect and his whole being is as if he came out of a display case, behind glass, or from a cupboard smelling of mothballs, as if he had several bunches of dried lavender in his pockets and tucked into his sleeves. His face looks scarred. That’s how I always remember it. But when we meet, I’m surprised to find that he’s completely smooth. There is not a single tiny pimple, no small chicken pox scar or any other defect. I see her hair as greasy and dandruffy, and as if there is a musty smell under the huge bun. I’m afraid he’ll open it once, and then the horror will come out on me. But in fact, her hair is not dirty, even the blind can see it.

I fall asleep on the couch because it’s so cruel to go to bed alone in that big bed. I didn’t directly buy a single, and I also chose the king size from France. According to feng sui (or some other philosophy, I can’t remember) it’s good to reserve space for the other. This indicates that we have not closed ourselves off. The McDonald’s bag on the coffee table. The vibration of the TV still fills the room. I mean dawn. I never wanted to be attracted to women, I don’t understand what’s wrong with me.

Sometimes I watch porn in the evening, alone, of course how else, I live here alone since I moved away from home. I don’t directly choose porn, I just switch, but sometimes I really want to find it. I always dream about the same man, for years. I know him from the video library. Where I work. It’s interesting, a lot of people go there, but I can’t make friends with anyone. I have only one co-worker. My boss. Dawn.

We fall for each other, I bite his mouth, he fucks on the table, I even imagine the scenes before I dream and tell myself long stories in bed before going to bed, just like when I was a child. We finally get to the point where he puts it in, and then it’s too small, I barely feel anything, and no matter how hard and wild we do it, I suddenly wake up. I’m lying in the dark, only now I don’t have the smurf of the plushies I got for my kindergarten graduation. I work in a video store. I don’t think that’s exactly how my mother imagined it.

We had only one room, in which even my grandmother lived with us for a short time. My grandmother was lost in the war, wandered God knows where for months, until she was reunited with her parents and two brothers, and she had no memory of it all. His memories never returned, not even before his death. I wish I could forget the one year he lived with us. At night, he couldn’t or didn’t want to go to the toilet anymore, he just stood by the bed and dripped his piss into a basin. Steam rose from his legs. I turned towards the wall and imagined the sea at Barcelona.

The national programs, A hét, Júlia Kudlik, were on TV almost all day, and now I can’t stop watching them. I’m not too upset about it. There are more channels, the selection is better, you don’t have to watch so much nonsense. I’m more consumed by Dawn. He’s older than me, maybe ten years. He has a child. I have lived with women in my worldly life, and now I am here alone. I can’t take it much longer.

I’m afraid to be alone with him, I feel that he will touch me and it will be like pulling my clothes off. Or one day he won’t put his hand on my shoulder, but on one of my breasts. With a completely natural movement, he won’t even look at me differently than he normally would. Because what’s between us is so clear.

A small child next door coughs at night. I hear her cry. Sometimes it’s inconsolable. I should bring the movies home instead of TV. I could buy a player. They say that this is the last great era of DVDs.

Sometimes I imagine that Dawn and I will venture that far. He would take off his old-fashioned and fashionable clothes at the same time, he wouldn’t let me do it, but he would make me undress. There is no other scenario. We fall for each other, we try to do it with our mouths, everyone lies in the opposite direction, and it’s quite good, but somehow we don’t get to the end (it seems that I’m doomed to never be the best), and then all of a sudden it’s at a loss, but it’s very funny moment follows, while laughing hugely, we realize that now the only thing missing is the dick, and we don’t know how to proceed.

I think that’s why there won’t be anything between us. Not just because of my upbringing.

I wait for him to come into the box, day after day, that guy. I think that’s why everything stays the same. I’m waiting, waiting, waiting. I can’t take it much longer.